Heaven. Everything good on this planet - from cheesecake to music to Leonardo DiCaprio circa Titanic - is always compared to heaven. "Oh, this turtle pie is heaven, Nadine. It's positively sinful." (Does anyone find this juxtaposition of heaven and sin ironic? Just me? Okay.)
Heck, people even spell it backwards to name their children (sorry; I will never ever jump on the "let's name my little girl Nevaeh" bandwagon that's careening out of control through neo-natal units the country over). West Virginia is "Almost Heaven," which, as Jim Gaffigan aptly puts it, means that "when I die, I'm going to a place that's just slightly better than West Virginia."
And so, when I roll up to this place that will be slightly better than West Virginia, I'll give Saint Peter a joyful high-five, fellowship with friends and family, and then head straight for the buffet.
I mean, come on. I didn't just draw this supposition out of thin air. Jesus even talks about Heaven being like an eternal banquet in Luke 14. Jesus wouldn't lie to us about the promise of food in Heaven (unless we get there and it's like that scene in Hook where we have to imagine the food. Heaven forbid, literally.). It's going to be a fantastic get-together, and get-togethers deserve great food. Sure, the only reason we need food now is to keep ourselves from being malnurished (and consequently entering the pearly gates a bit earlier than intended), but why did God make food taste so dang good?
Those of you who follow my Twitter or Facebook may have noticed I posted this little gem earlier today:
I know priorities are priorities, but if there are no fried pickles in Heaven, I'm going to be a teensy bit disappointed.
I'm not trying to be sacrilegious. I'm just saying that God (whom I believe to be just, but also loving) would not have allowed such a glorious thing to exist if we were only allowed to enjoy it for the short time we're here on this earth.
It got me to thinking, of course, about some other delicacies I enjoy as a mortal that would cause me to pause in my eternal joy with a sniffle of regret if it's not up there waiting for me. And so...
I hope these things are in Heaven
(Food edition. In no particular order.)
1. Diet Cherry 7-Up
2. In-N-Out Burger
3. Vegetable Sushi
4. That one ham-and-cheese croissant I had this one time at Ferrara Bakery & Cafe in New York City
5. Taco Bell's Cheesy Gordita Crunch
6. Fried pickles
7. Ben & Jerry's Peach Cobbler Ice Cream
8. Cheetos Puffs
9. Cilantro-lime rice from Qdoba
10. Anything from Tropical Smoothie Cafe
11. Cobb Salad from The Brown Derby (at Disney's Hollywood Studios)
12. Red Lobster's cheddar biscuits
13. DQ Oreo Blizzards (or anything with Oreos in it)
Response time: What foods do YOU want to see in Heaven?
LOL favorite was the ham and cheese croissant from Ferrara's.
ReplyDeleteUm if there is no brea, pasta, chocolate or mozzarella cheese I will be POed