- Heavy handed debate ("Let me bludgeon you over the head with my opinion! Change yours! CHANGE YOURS, DARN YOU")
- Name-calling ("Trout sniffer" and other less-than-G-rated names)
- General grammatical snark ("Way to make your subject-verb agreement disagree, moron")
- Unfounded character insults ("Get out of your parents' basement and say that to my face")
For the uninitiated, trolling is defined as follows:
Being a prick on the internet because you can. Typically unleashing one or more cynical or sarcastic remarks on an innocent by-stander, because it's the internet and, hey, you can.* Definition taken from Urban Dictionary (and not, say, Webster's) because reasons.
Trolling has achieved everything from being mildly irritating to egging people on to commit suicide, and although you might not be guilty of the most egregious branch of this sort of asinine behavior, you're probably guilty of it to some degree.
What's that? You'd never be so awful toward your friends or family? Okay, you've got me there. But have you made blanket insults toward strangers? Celebrities? Politicians?
You may have said them to an athlete, like these New Yorkers did to former Yankees second baseman Robinson Canó. He's now playing for the Mariners (and a bigger paycheck), and Yankees fans didn't like it.
Check out what these fans said on camera... and what they said after the interview takes an interesting turn:
Okay, I'm not stupid. I know you're probably not going to watch the video. So, if you didn't, here's a quick rundown:
The Tonight Show interviewed Yankees fans man-on-the-street style and asked them how they felt about Canó leaving for the Mariners. Each interview started with a general "you suck" sentiment from the fan and, after directing their comments at a large picture of Canó -- wha-bam -- the actual Canó steps out from behind the picture.
The reaction of these guys is priceless, ranging from embarrassment to surprise to a bit of apologetic behavior ("Hey, you know I love you, man"). Their sneers softened up a little bit. Why? Maybe it's because they saw that their jeers were directed toward an actual human being, not an emotionless photograph.
The Internet's done that to all of us, in one way or another.
We're quick to bash people, insult their intelligence, attack character, hurl venomous names... as long as it's behind the safety of a keyboard. What if the object of your insults (and yes, that includes Bill O'Reilly, Kim Kardashian, Barack Obama, and even that one girl in high school that still makes your life a nightmare) wasn't just on TV, wasn't just plastered all over your news feed, but was in the same room as you? What if he/she were standing right in front of you?
Okay, I'll grant you that you may still not like them very much. You might even be courageous enough to tell the object of your tirades that you don't like them. You might give them a piece of your mind about why you don't like them. But would it contain the venom that you're so easy to spew over the anonymity of the Internet?
Let's face it: it's easy to be nasty these days. After all, we don't really have to answer for that back-handed comment toward that guy on a Facebook thread. He's never met you, and anyway, dude's a bona fide idiot. He lives in Montana. Will you ever go to Montana? And even if you did, what are the odds you'll run into him at a Walmart and he'll (1) remember you and (2) beat you up in a back alley for that one time you were less than nice?
I'm not saying you shouldn't ever disagree with someone. And let me be absolutely clear: disagreeing with someone ≠ "hate." But it wouldn't kill you to be civil. Oh, what's that? They aren't being civil? They don't deserve a kind word? Then how about taking the higher road and showing them how it's done?
I swear, any more arguing and I'll turn this wagon around. You're going to bed without supper. And Christmas is canceled. You want to try for your birthday, next?
