A Conversation

Me: Hooray. Home from work.

Self: Excellent. Now's a great time to get that workout taken care of.

Me: Workout? But I want to take a nap!

Self: Want to, sure. But should you?

Me: ...

Self: ...



An hour later.



Self: I should've never let you take that nap. You sleep any longer and you'll never get any sleep tonight. Then you'll be tired the next morning, and then you'll want to take another nap tomorrow. You see what a vicious cycle you can create?

Me: No. Don't wanna.

Self: Get. Up.

Me: ...

Self: Aren't you awfully warm under all those covers?

Me: Yeah, kind of. And borderline sweaty.

Self: Is napping fun anymore?

Me: No...

Self: Then let's get up. You promised me you'd work out today.

Me: I know.

Self: You had like, three sugar cookies at lunch today.

Me: (grumble)


Self: Do you think those calories just magically go away on their own?

Me: ...no... I figured they wentawaywhenitookanap.

Self: Come again?

Me: ...whenihadnaptime.

Self: Speak up, woman!

Me: WHEN I TOOK A NAP. I HOPED THE CALORIES WOULD BURN BY TAKING A NAP.

Self: ...

Me: ...

Self: You're a sick, backwards woman.

Me: Mreh.

Self: I'm putting an end to this foolishness. We're working out right this second.

Me: Mreh.

Self: You're going to work out by running a mile. Go. Chop-chop.

Me: ...

Self: ...by doing pilates for an hour?

Me: Try again.

Self: ...By getting out the DVD of Sweating to the Oldies?

Me: That's better.

Self: It's not ideal, but if it'll get your butt in gear. C'mon, let's go.

Me: Okay. But let me blog about it first.

Self: ...