The Golden Rules of Being a Fansie

First off: You can't tell me nothing if you ain't seen Newsies.

Hey, put the Batman costume on that guy in the front, and he might be able to pull that off...

You're either going to fall into one of two schools of thought here:

1. "Eh, I heard of it, or maybe I haven't. Sounds kind of lame."
2. "HOLY COW IT'S MY FAVORITE."

Those of you who align yourselves moreso with Option 1 can leave the room now. The rest of this blog entry won't appeal to your hoity-toity sensibilities. That, and I simply won't tolerate your heckling.

As for the rest of you... I know your type. You saw the movie once in middle school (probably between choir concerts) and it was the catalyst you needed to memorize the movie, the choreography, the soundtrack. You not only know what Newsies is, but you know what newsies are. You know that headlines don't sell papes; newsies sell papes. You know that a teenaged Christian Bale awkwardly un-lisped his way through a tenuous grasp of a New Yawk accent and led a gang of fellas that sang and danced their ways into the hearts of many children of the 1980s.

You're a Newsies fan. A "fansie," some would say. Maybe even an "ambastard." And hey, guess what? I'm in the same club.

It's a great club to be a part of, because you can be any sort of fan you want to be. You want to write Newsies-inspired fanfiction? Go for it. You're more of a song-and-dance fan? That's cool too. Or maybe you just like to watch the movie until you break your DVD player. Hey man, whatever floats your boat.

There's even been a recent influx of vocalized Newsies fans in light of the new Broadway musical that's going to rock everyone's face off next summer. In light of the recent hype, I feel it's time to lay down the law and present you with:


The Golden Rules of Being a Fansie

1. The film is not, will not be, nor has ever been called The Newsies. 
2. It's always fair to object in court on the grounds of Brooklyn.
3. Yes, you can pick a favorite, but a true Fansie appreciates them all.
4. It's Spot Conlon. Not "Spot Collins," "Spot Connelly," or any variation of it.
5. We can't beat up kids in the street. It'll give us a bad name.
6. It's an added bonus if you can easily record your own commentary to play over the DVD.
7. Fanfic is optional. Creative expression of your Fansieness is not.
8. It's considered socially appropriate to detest Sarah Jacobs, but be sure to come up with some solid reasons why you do.
9. Sealing a deal with a spit-handshake is legally binding.
10. Headlines don't sell papes. Newsies sell papes.

Fansies/Ambastards - comment with your own additions.